Monday, 30 April 2012

The Picture

So about that picture. The one I drew in blood. That was meant as a message. See what I actually drew was a picture from our childhood. Drawing with blood is slightly more difficult than drawing with paint so I'm not sure if she actually got what it was supposed to be. Her account says it was something disturbing but I don't know whether that's because she didn't know who I was, she didn't see it properly or The Shadow altered her memory.

To be accurate The Picture was of her sitting on my lap while I was reading to her from my computer. I can kind of see how if the picture was a little off that could seem disturbing. I may also of forgotten to draw myself as I looked then as opposed to drawing myself as I am now...

I guess I fucked up on that one.

Oh and I guess I can explain here. I found her after The Shadow saved her. He left her nearby and I found her and brought her to The Nightlanders hoping they'd give up on her and leave her alone so he would leave her alone and The Archangel would no longer want to kill her. Didn't work.

Also I don't really know for sure but I assume those voices she was hearing were the real life "doctors" somehow slipping into her delusion and not something that she actually heard at the time of these events.

Sunday, 29 April 2012


So this is where stuff gets confusing. Netwerks is a group of self proclaimed fear hunters. A.K.A. a bunch of idiot humans with admittedly impressive connections who have rather limited knowledge of the fears and yet somehow believe that they can kill the unkillable. They consist of a woman (Karin's sister as Megan called her) named Regina. A man named Markus. (Megan wrote his name as Marcus the first time because she only heard it and assumed it was spelled with a C.) Lastly they also have a small group of supposed experts on the fears. Two nerds by the name of Samantha and Sabrina. I used one of them for my painting the other had not shown up to work today. Lucky her. No I do not know which one I killed. Anyways they had somehow found out about the events revolving around my sister and had kidnapped her shortly after her transformation and right out from under the claws of one of the Nightlanders. (The Nightlander Megan met in her room during the fire was not in fact the shadow but an ordinary Nightlander.) They believed somewhat correctly that capturing her would draw out either The Cold Boy, The Archangel or The Nightlanders/Shadow. What they planned to do if one of them showed up I'm not quite sure. They weren't even prepared for me how did they expect to handle one of those three. Speaking of which. I'm sure you're wondering why I acted the way I did. Scaring my own sister like that. Well to be honest I actually didn't recognize her until the third visit. My memory of my life before becoming The Muffin Man is foggy at best when it comes to details so her appearance was already difficult for me to remember and with her looking like one of the Cold Ones it was damn near impossible to recognize her. Also Markus. Why did he look like me? Well after they captured Megan they found out a bit about her background. Markus is essentially they're master of disguise. He was disguised as me in an attempt to get her to cooperate more. I was not happy when I found out they had taken my likeness and so I murdered him. I was even less happy when I realized the girl they captured was Megan. So I killed Regina too. I  may have gotten slightly carried away. My question may have seemed cruel as well but I was actually checking to see whether Megan was still human.

Now The Archangel is a bit more simple. He was allied with The Nightlanders trying to take down The Shadow. Unlike them though he spotted Megan for what she was. A distraction so he decided to kill her. He sent one of his servants to kill her. I admit I didn't recognize him when they passed me and my painting. Luckily The Shadow was able to save her. Oh as for the servant... His words to Megan at the end were rather cryptic. How she knew his name despite never meeting him before. Well she had met him. He was our father. I don't know when he joined The Archangel but he must have lost all his remaining humanity in the deal to of been willing to try and kill Megan like that. I killed him myself a little later.

After that I took a more active stance against The Archangel to protect Megan and for vengeance. He was the one responsible for taking me away from her and turning me into this after all. The fight in the bar later was unbelievably satisfying.

In case you're wondering. The guy in the bar survived but he has no eyes left. I think he is now considered the blind prophet of the local Timberwolves chapter. I should really visit soon and make him The castrated blind prophet.

Saturday, 28 April 2012

As for The Cold Boy.

So how did The Cold Boy fit in to our plans. Well to be honest he didn't. That was all Megan at least at first. See I wasn't aware as stated earlier that The Shadow of Anarchy was hiding out with Megan. So when she started calling out to The Cold boy The Shadow saw an opportunity. She would gain powers that would protect her. It would make her a more effective shield. So he did what he could to make her a servant. Originally he tried to stay out of it but when The Cold Boy was going to kill her he stepped in. He needed her alive to continue working as his shield. As long as she lived his connection to her would distract his enemies. So he made a deal. Even I don't know the exact nature of the deal but it somehow went sour later and The Cold Boy abandoned her. At this point The Nightlanders and The Shadow gave me new orders. One wanted me to protect her the others wanted me to bring her to them. Neither of them told me who she was so it was a surprise when I first saw her at Netwerks. Tomorrow I'll explain about Netwerks and how The Archangel fits into this.

Friday, 27 April 2012

Early Life

So as you know from "Megan's" blog, our parents were both not around. Our mother was in an insane asylum. Not fear related she just turned out to be a psychopath. We didn't really tell Megan what had actually happened. Mother had actually killed two people. A woman and her daughter at the ark near our house. Mother had gone there with Megan one day while these two were there and from the police report apparently Mother grabbed the kid and ran into the forest nearby. The kid's mother chased her and mother came back out shortly after and brought Megan home. The kid and her mother's bodies were found shortly after. The child had been brained against a tree and the mother had been choked to death. They arrested our mother shortly after. After that Dad left. Not to the war like Megan thought. I don't know where she actually got that idea. No Father just left. One day he woke up walked over to the neighbours told them to take care of us and walked off into memory. Well he came back but I'll explain that later. After that our Neighbours accepted us as their own children. Megan called them mean which is sad since they were really nice people. They were just really strict and not used to kids.

Of course you know all about what happened to me. The Angel came after me one day and I made a deal with the other fears to survive but I had to leave. I didn't want Megan to think I had abandoned her as well so I faked my death. Then I went on to become The Muffin Man. I chose the name based on the fact that it was my favourite nursery rhyme as a child. Besides it just seemed hilarious to me to name myself something so innocent while being so horrible.

Now here's the part you don't know. While Megan was living with what she thought was my ghost. I gained quite the reputation. I was hired by The Nightlanders. See you most likely all know about The Nightlanders. They like order. They like to keep things neat and orderly. Well with every species there outliers. there was one that preferred chaos and disorganization. It constantly undermined the efforts of it's fellows and so they decided to destroy it. I was hired by it to protect it and them to track it down. Normally this would seem to be a contradiction but I decided it might be fun to do both. I had never expected or known Megan would get involved.

Thursday, 26 April 2012

Ok little more explanation.

So yes I broke into some random idiots house killed him and took his blog. Somehow this will save my sister. I understand this seems a little weird. Let me explain. According to most official records I am dead in both my normal human self and my alias as The Muffin Man. I am of course not dead. I have been searching for a while for her location. I am assuming you have seen this: Cold and Lonely Days. Yes "my sister's blog." Moments tricked out of her invaded mind by doctors so they could show them to the world and analyze them. I'm quite pissed about this invasion of her and my privacy but I must give them some credit. I now know where she is. Sadly just bursting in there won't be enough. The humans won't give me much trouble but he is still there. Buried in her mind. I need to prepare and I thought as long as I'm preparing I'll set some of the record straight on that broken account they forced out of her.

So I found a nearby blogger and stole his house and blog for my purposes. He also happened to be a moron which was an added bonus since I got to save all of you from his blathering.

Oh and of course The Slender Man isn't happy I stole his target but whatever he can't really touch me. Why did he even want this guy anyways? Go kill some other wannabe gangster punk. There's not really a deficit of idiots.

Anyways so tomorrow I'll start giving you the whole story. For now though more preparations need my attention.

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Mal. Guy killed me, Mal.

He broke in while I was writing another stupid trumped up post about my own idiotic ego and my over reliance on weapons. He then proceeded to feed me my own gun and smash my face into the wall until the impact made it fire. It was my own fault for leaving the safety off.

I thought our good friend "Da Dawg" (Real name: Allen Richardson. 22 years old, white and living in the suburbs) would want you to know that. He did actually have a desert eagle. I was actually kind of surprised. I assumed he was lying about all of it. Imagine my surprise when he actually pulled a gun on me earlier. Course his statement that he shot me was grossly inaccurate. He freaked out screamed like a little girl and fired a bunch of shots wildly towards the window about 5 minutes after I disappeared from sight.

Regardless the moron is dead as is his mother who unfortunately got in the way.

Yes he lived with his mother.

Now then Nice to meet you all.

You already know me and you can probably guess what I want.

I am The Muffin Man. I have come for my sister.

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Fuck yo baked goods!

I just shot a motherfucker today! Some punkass motherfucker peeking in my window! I take aim and bam shoot that motherfucker right between the eyes. Didn't find the corpse when I checked though.

Monday, 23 April 2012

No one fucks wit da Dawg!

Some mofo left a note on my door today!

Do you know The Muffin Man?

He knows you.

That supposed to be a threat? Not scared of your little kiddy shit! Any Muffin Man comes round here I'll shoot the fucker! Shoot Muffin Man and The Suit wearing motherfucker! 

Sunday, 22 April 2012

To The Suit wearing Motherfucker.

I see you out there watching my house! Don't you be getting any ideas you try anything I'l shoot your motherfucking face! I have a fucking Desert Eagle! That's right a Deagle motherfucker! Yeah you scared now huh bitch!? Yeah that's right you don't want to mess with this man!

Saturday, 21 April 2012

Heya My Motherfuckers!!

Wazzup! Da Dawg in the hizzouse! Talking to all you peeps out in da internetz. How you bitches doing out there! Yeah you Motherfuckers be cool! I bin seeing this weird dude man. He's all wearing a suit and shit and looks like a god damn Mofo you know!? So I be writing this blog to tell you all about this crazy shit that's been happening!

Check y'all out soon bitches!